For years, I have watched people make choices that affect their personal
lives and careers. In most cases, people make negative choices because of their
attitudes and thinking styles.
Your challenged attitudes usually start with distorted thinking styles
(DTSs)—ways of thinking that cause a misperception of a situation or event.
For example, constant frustration can prompt DTSs and challenged attitudes. When
you are frustrated, your thinking can become inflexible and distorted.
Distorted Thinking
Here are five DTSs:
- Magnifying: Magnifying turns the consequences of an event into a catastrophe such as, “I’m going to be fired.”
- Destructive labeling: This is extreme over-generalization, making someone or a situation totally negative.
- Imperative thinking: Think of this as a list of inflexible rules about how you and others should act—usually based on negative past experiences.
- Mind reading: This attributes to motives that explain other people’s actions toward a person or event.
- Divide and conquer: This happens because of over-magnification and wanting others to support a position.
People who have DTSs tend to garner support, usually creating divisions.
Challenged Attitudes
When you suffer from challenged attitudes and DTSs, you say things
like: It’s not my job. They should take care of it. I have new responsibilities
now. I can’t do it. It won’t work. It can’t be done. They won’t
like it. They make more money. I’ll just draw a check until something better
comes along. My responsibilities keep changing. I have no incentives or growth
possibilities. I can’t advance. I don’t get any respect. I hope to
get fired so I can collect unemployment.
So ask yourself: Do you have a challenged attitude? If so, then I
challenge you to take seven steps:
- Work on your personal foundation—the five pillars of attraction (FRESH):
F: Finances, R: Relationships, E: Environment, S: Spirituality, and H: Health
and happiness. Set a goal to improve in one task for each pillar.
- Stop listening to that little negative voice. Counter-punch the negative self-talk with positive thinking.
- Look for alternative explanations. There may be hundreds of them, but when you are frustrated, you can’t see the forest for the trees. You suffer from
frustration tunnel vision.
- Do something that will place you in a positive mood. Develop a habit of speaking with anyone who is known for having a positive attitude or mood.
- Control your frustration. Speak slowly, breath deeply, choose to remain calm, or excuse yourself from the discussion. Take a time out.
- Stop looking out the rear-view mirror and start looking forward. Your view of each person or situation is up to you. You can choose to be negative or positive.
You can either focus on your negative past or look forward into a positive future.
Remember, past failures don’t equal current successes.
- Be careful who you hang out with. Jim Rohn says: “You become the average sum of the five people with whom you associate.” So ask yourself: Who am
I around? What are they doing to me? What do they have me saying, doing, thinking,
and becoming? Is that okay?
Deal with attitude challenges by implementing these seven steps. PE
