When you were young, you had grand ideas of living a fantastic life.
Then, life’s disappointments came along, and your enthusiasm seemed to drain.
You became an adult, knowledgeable in the ways of the world. You were no longer
an innocent babe. You learned to lower your expectations for happiness. The magic
may have gone out of your life. You may think, that is what it means to “grow
up.” You would be wrong.
In contrast, such people as Bill Gates, Lance Armstrong, and George
Soros have lived lives of grand ideas, incredible energy, and great enthusiasm.
Somehow life’s disappointments did not get them down. They used these trials
and tribulations to further their cause. They kept their youthful enthusiasm and
experienced wonder with each newly opened door. What makes them so strong? How
can you gain that strength?
I have a fairly old-fashioned idea. The French call this idea raison
d’être—reason for being. Every one of us has a unique purpose
in life. Just like the idea that everyone has a soul mate, this one is hard to
prove. The circumstantial evidence, however, is overwhelming. Each of us has a
special grand purpose to make the world better in our own unique way. Like a fingerprint,
every purpose is different; no two are alike. What’s funny about this idea
is that some consider going after our purpose in life to be the ultimate in selfishness.
The idea that we should “do our own thing” seems ego-centric.
But the truth is that the world values our own wonderful unique selves more than
another clone. Being our true selves and going for our purpose is the ultimate
in serving the world. It is the opposite of selfish. Of course, we are wired this
way to go for our purpose. This is where we find the most joy—where we find
passion. Some will even give their life for their highest purpose. Van Gogh had
to paint, even though it meant poverty. Lance Armstrong had to race his bike,
even though it meant overcoming cancer. George Soros had to make billions of dollars
so he could fund world freedom through his Open Society programs, even though
it meant that at the age of 14 he had to fight for his own freedom so he would
not end up in a Nazi death camp. Freedom for the world became his raison d’être.
His fight for freedom became a fight for freedom for all of us.
Our first main goal in life is to find our purpose, raison d’être,
or reason for being. Without finding our unique purpose, we never quite find happiness.
People without purpose grow up to lead lives of quiet desperation. In a sense,
to become a clone, to become someone else’s idea of what is best for our
lives, is one of the greatest tragedies we can experience—and the world
is robbed of our unique gifts.
If we find our purpose, then the universe opens for us. We have more
energy. We become smarter and perhaps even geniuses. In fact, such small things
as poverty and illness do not get in our way. Life is a joy, and we become lucky.
Our entire focus becomes our purpose. We dream about it, we meditate about it,
and we become passionate about our raison d’être. We no longer
have plain old goals—we have a passionate purpose that is strengthened with
love. No wonder we excel. We have obtained the key to all the important doors
of life. We don’t mind working the dead end job if it means that it is a
stepping stone to our purpose. We don’t mind sacrifice if it means we accomplish
something that can be even more important than life itself. It is harder to walk
over the hot coals if there is no reason to do so. Our raison d’être
becomes the reason.
Many self-help experts wonder why their programs seem to motivate
people for a week or two, and then the people slide back to their pre-program
ways. They can’t understand why this information does not stick. Most people
know that they would like to improve their lives, and they know that they are
not living at their best. They are really trying, but they notice they can’t
seem to keep the discipline to stay on track. What we really need is something
that will focus us with great internal energy—that will keep us on track
without having to discipline ourselves. When we find our purpose or raison
d’être, we find the focus that will let us take advantage of
all the self-help experts’ advice. If we must lose weight in order to meet
our life purpose, then we don’t mind the diet. If we must learn a new foreign
language then, again, we don’t mind the effort. Our raison d’être
is so important to us that we will do whatever it takes. Wouldn’t you like
to have that kind of self motivation?
For some, finding their raison d’être was very
easy. John Steinbeck knew he wanted to write novels when he was in grade school.
He went through poverty and didn’t care because he was writing. His focus
was on writing, not on the fact that he was eating beans at every meal.
How did Steinbeck find his life purpose? He spent lots of time alone
to think about his life. He went on walks, meditated in the woods, and wrote about
anything that concerned him. He found himself and found what he must do with his
life—write novels.
For many, finding one’s raison d’être
is difficult. In today’s society we can’t even drive to work without
talking to someone on the cell phone. Our music, TV, video, computer games, and
the Internet all conspire to take every last second of quiet time. Without a few
minutes of meditation daily, we will not be able to discover who we are and who
we want to become. Without meditation, we become a clone of the media.
Take fifteen minutes a day to think about your ideal life. Think
about those times when you were happiest. What were you doing? If you could live
your life doing what you most love, what would that be? Take some contemplation
time today and start moving in the direction of your raison d’être. PE
