All of us either have or will face serious adversity in our lives.
It’s not a matter of if—it’s a matter of when.
On August 10, 1998, my 37-year-old wife, Cynthia, was killed as she
drove home from work when a man high on drugs and speeding ran a stop sign. She
was seven months pregnant with our second son. My life changed forever, and I
was left to pick up the pieces for myself and my nine-year-old son, Ryan.
From my journey, six strategies emerged.
- Affirmation. This is recognition of your bedrock values—those elements of your character that do not change with the wind. To stand for something, you
must stand on something—a set of principles that help you regain your footing
when you’ve been knocked down. Reflect on your bedrock values so that they
are accessible when you need them most.
- Expectation. Life isn’t fair. Bad things happen to good people. You
often face situations that are unjust. Even so, you can still excel. It starts
with the decision to act rather than lament. Searching for the answer to the question
of why diverts your attention. Some questions need action, not answers. So, put
unfair situations behind you and move forward.
- Communication. Be comfortable speaking your heart as well as your mind. Share what you feel, not just what you know. Connect on a deeper, more personal level.
Give people a plan, and they will follow it; a vision, and they will move mountains.
- Locomotion. Purposeful motion is a powerful tool for reshaping our reality, especially in the face of adversity or crisis. We must make decisions, and adjust
to outcomes, to keep things moving forward. It is impossible to create momentum
without motion.
- Collaboration. Collaboration is about building a network of relationships
before adversity strikes. Who can you count on through thick and thin? What partnerships
can you strengthen? People will help when they know that help is appreciated.
- Celebration. Even in adversity, you can achieve and celebrate small victories. Celebration recharges your emotional batteries, strengthens the ties with your
support team, and acknowledges modest progress. Share a smile, laugh, or encouragement.
These strategies were born of my calamity. You are more capable and
resilient than you realize. PE
