Sometimes, we all commit a faux pas, gaffe, or other acts
of verbal suicide. They run the full gamut—from the vintage career destroyers
to benign ones.
Have you ever blurted out something, and based on the reaction, it
was clear that it was not received the way you intended? Your comment was met
with stunned silence, dropped jaws, as a chilling silence settled around your
words. You stand there looking foolish, embarrassed, and apologetic. You feel
like giving yourself a swift kick in the rear end, a slap upside the head, or
finding the nearest rock to crawl beneath. Hey, you’re not alone.
What you experienced was a verbal virus I call OMIF—open
mouth, insert foot. Sooner or later, we all get contaminated by an OMIF.
Sometimes the best safeguard is to “think it, but don’t say it,”
to stop short before firing off a verbal missile that risks turning into a relationship
wrecker.
Have you ever fired off an e-mail “on emotion” with content
you later regretted? Hey, I’ve sent a few stupid ones of my own and felt
terrible afterward. So yes, OMIFs can also lurk dangerously in e-mail as well.
Shabby content, warped humor, barbs, zingers and words with multiple meanings
can cause the receiver to have delusions about the person behind the message.
Impressions can and do last.
Install an Early Warning System
In the same way you activate an anti-spam device, install an early
warning system to block OMIF “pop ups.” Here’s how. Before opening
your mouth, or firing off an emotion-charged e-mail, try asking yourself a few
questions: What’s the context of the situation? How well do I know this
person? How might my message be interpreted? Will this advance or hurt our relationship?
How could those in earshot—or on the CC (or BCC) list—interpret my
comment? Is this something I want to be remembered by?
Wrestle with these questions. Self-control may be your salvation.
Time allows you to mentally test your message before hitting the verbal or electronic
“send” button. Time may cause you to stifle your impulse, “delete”
that message, spare hurt feelings, and creates a positive impression.
As Mark Twain said, “Better to say nothing and be thought of
as a fool than to open your mouth and prove it beyond all doubt!” So true,
so true! PE
