Today’s office is not a cozy place. Many professional people
work long hours and sense that maneuvering a steady career path—or even
holding onto a job—is walking a slippery slope. The old model of the organization
as a merit-based entity—know your job, get your work done in a competent
and timely manner—is fading away. The modern organization is a political
entity, with sometimes new and confusing rules for success.
So, what can you do to feel more confident, secure and sane, better
at handling the stresses and strains of the workplace? Here are six survival strategies.
1. Know your blind spots, and get them under control. Blind spots
are highly individual reactions that get in the way of dealing successfully with
tricky situations. They’re different for all of us. Maybe receiving inconsistent
or confusing directives from a boss has you seeing red. Your inclination is to
fire back an angry e-mail, demanding clarification, or maybe to assume you must
be in the wrong somehow, and you had better just burrow ahead with insufficient
information. Is a highly competitive colleague getting your goat, and you’re
thinking how you might sabotage her? Or is an emotionally needy assistant stirring
up maternal instincts, and you feel you must solve her problems?
These are all perfectly normal, understandable emotional responses.
Often, they have a lot to do with family background, the kinds of relationships
you have or did have with parents and siblings. The point is, try not to act on
them. All too often, they’ll worsen your situation or even damage your career.
Recognize your blind spots, what office place behaviors typically stir up your
vulnerabilities. Remember to rein in your emotional response, and step back to
think things over before acting.
2. Develop an optimistic outlook. Believe in your ability to handle
stressful situations. This is tougher than it sounds, and it takes practice, because
all those emotions can easily distract you from rational, constructive approaches
to job difficulties. So, practice reframing by finding something good in a bad
situation. When your boss or colleague has you steaming, tell yourself you’ve
been handed an interesting opportunity to develop strong and smart defenses, and
how that can be helpful in future situations. Also, practice positive self-talk.
Recognize a negative, non-constructive flow of thought and turn it off. Instead
of ruminating on the nasty boss or colleague, focus on how you are looking forward
to having a great dinner with your spouse or playing with your child this evening.
3. Maintain good shock absorbers. Helpful, empathetic, trustworthy
friends with whom you can safely vent are good shock absorbers. Meditating, deep
breathing, and exercising regularly are all good shock absorbers and stress outlets.
Maintain a good professional support network, or put one together if you don’t
have it now. Just keeping a reliable list of useful names and numbers—a
career counselor, perhaps, an executive coach, a therapist, an employment attorney—will
make you feel more confident, hopeful, and better able to weather a tough time.
You may never have to use them, but it’s good to know they’re there.
4. Develop the skill of detachment. Keep your ego separate from your
job persona. This, too, is not easy. But rewards on the job won’t always
reflect your talents, experience, and expertise. Someone much less worthy than
you may end up with the raise, promotion, bigger bonus, and bigger office. The
criteria for rewards can be driven by politics. They can be unfair, even irrational.
You can’t take it personally. Remind yourself that the company is not your
family. Bad things can happen, even when you deserve better. So, develop a psychological
protective coating to help you weather the rough patches. Actively seek and find
both validation and gratification away from the job—in community service,
family ties, and absorbing hobbies. You might take a cooking class or get into
yoga. If you always wanted to run a marathon, maybe now is the time to find a
buddy and start training. The skill of detachment doesn’t mean you’re
not putting your full talents and attentions into your job. It means your job
is not the sole or primary source of your self-esteem. Get some of your needs
met elsewhere.
5. Embrace change. As an executive coach, I’ve learned that
the biggest obstacle blocking career progress and comfort is fear of change. None
of us really wholeheartedly embraces imposed, unwanted change in our work. But
change is part of modern organizational life, and in fact, it can feed the creative
process in wonderful ways. Try to knock down any resistance you might have to
the new, the different, the evolving. Better yet, commit to being in front of
the curve. Be proactive. Seek out training or information on the latest trends.
Take advantage of company-sponsored offerings in development or executive coaching
programs. Adopt new skills.
6. Adjust your value system. Let it reflect the reality of the marketplace. This is part two of developing a psychological protective coating. The reality
of the global marketplace shows that you really don’t have final control
over the rewards to be had from doing a good job; you don’t even have control
over a lot of what happens in the course of a workday. Sometimes the job values
you in tangible ways. Sometimes it doesn’t.
Especially as you move further along your career path, if you can
add to your value system a philosophy of life that incorporates the importance
of spiritual values—meaning, purpose, love—you are far less likely
to feel disappointed or feel as though something is missing in your world when
your job is less than rewarding. That’s a philosophy of life that can do
wonders to help you survive the office. PE
