We protect our illusions and find it difficult to change established
modes of behavior even when they are self-destructive. Instead of the unfiltered
experience of reality, we see the world around us as projections. We become imprisoned
by the filters of language, concepts, and beliefs through which we connect to
our world. These filters shade our perceptions of reality and cause us to act
or react to our filter.
These filters become reality barriers—highly developed filtering
systems for seeing the world. The more trained and educated you are, the more
developed the reality barriers or your interpretations of the moment.
Your interpretation of reality is heavily filtered by your
model of the world, which has been shaped and polished through your training.
For example, the training that creates highly skilled doctors can also create
a complex filter, sprinkled with a dose of narcissism, that creates two divergent
views. These two antithetical perspectives demand a rationalization. The pressures,
desires, needs, wants, and ambitions of highly trained doctors and scientists
can lead them to have this split view of reality. And their brilliant minds convince
them that they are right. They understand science, yet many of them fail
to understand people because they don’t understand themselves.
So, the more trained and smarter people are, the less they truly
see and the more their training interferes with their perception of reality.
If what you don’t know can kill you, then I assert that what
you don’t know you don’t know, can kill you even faster. Not being
aware of reality, or unconscious to your filters, can be pathological. Reality
can become an illusion.
Three Filters
I believe there is a pattern to the ways people view reality: the
Present, the Desired and the Expected. These filters
are what define the reality barriers.
• The Present is the view of what is happening right now, in
the moment. There are many shades of seeing the world in the Present, but if you
predominantly see the world through other filters, you experience a reality
barrier.
Those who live in the Present are grounded in the moment, and like
or dislike it, decisions are made based on what is. People who view from here
are practical, pragmatic, and focused.
• Those who live in the Desire, view the world through what
they want. Their needs and wants, based on internal references, is the
point from which they see the world. They can be incredibly goal-oriented and
work hard to achieve their goals. They tend to justify their effort. People who
make a strong effort to achieve something, generally tend to convince themselves
that it was worth the effort. So, those who live in the desire all the time
can become self-absorbed, even narcissistic—another reality barrier.
• Those who see through the filter of the Expected view the
world through what they believe should happen. Their behavior is adapted
or accommodated to meet an internal or external set of values, codes, or beliefs.
Sometimes they are imposed by external circumstances, such as the work environment.
Other times, they are internally imposed by certain core convictions.
There are overlaps and shadings to these different view: some see
the world through what is Desired and Expected. I call this denying
reality. There is no Present. When Clinton once said that it “depends
on what your definition of is is, he was right. Through this prism of
Desired and Expected, there is no is, just want and should.
This is yet another form of a reality barrier and the one that interferes the
most with good decision making.
This is commonplace for narcissists. Desired and Expected is a place
where people simply deny what is happening and instead, create their own reality.
Some people see the world through what is Present and Desired but
not Expected. I call this flying blind. Good results may ensue, but they
are not replicable. This also could be termed “living in sin.” This
is what is happening, what you want to happen, but perhaps what
you should not be doing. It could be any habit that is unhealthy or could
harm you in the long run, such as smoking cigarettes, overeating, or not exercising.
It is the view that all situations look like opportunities, and soon
too many opportunities become threats. It is decision making without preplanning,
without forethought. Some people see the world through what is Present and Expected
but not Desired. This is the place that reluctant leaders are formed.
Often, it is the doctor who loves science, or the engineer who loves programming
who is compelled to become the CEO because it was his discovery that formed the
company.
They are much more comfortable with the science, than they are with
the business. We could also term this as “accepting the inevitable,”
since what is happening is what was expected, but simply not desired.
Change the Context
Reality barriers are encountered in many forms. Sometimes it is simply
the inability to recognize that others are not like us, or the inability to recognize
that there is a problem at all.
Since it is the context that is the problem in a reality
barrier, it is nearly impossible for someone to recognize this without outside
help. They keep looking at content—trying to change things.
The solution is to change the context, so that when the content is
changed, it is sustainable. But it is not that easy.
The next time you watch an incredibly smart person hang on to their
model of the world at all costs, remember: they cannot see beyond their own context
or culture. PE
