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Community. An important part of our dance program is community. To achieve this, our philosophy is to help one another learn and to share our dances with everyone. Those who come without partners and those who come for the first time are especially intimidated by the complexities of tango. Even the most benign comment can often destroy the confidence and interest of a new dancer to the extent that they may never return.
Having danced for a number of years in a variety of dance venues, I offer these concepts for your consideration:
Learning and stumbling. This is especially intended for you macho guys. Remember that dancing requires a multitude of coordinated movements that take practice in order to perform them without thinking of each step. Like learning to play a musical instrument, dancing requires practice, practice, practice. If you find that you are stumbling when learning a new dance move, do not let this keep you from dancing. We all experience this when learning something unfamiliar. So, be brave and dance as if no one is watching. Remember that everyone at a dance has gone through the same clumsiness, they all have similar problems when learning something new, and they are there to help you.
Never negatively comment on technique during a social dance. When dancing with someone, the idea is to non-verbally enjoy a two-way connection. All too often, a verbal correction will destroy the pleasure of the dance, and that person will probably not wish to dance with you again. Such verbal comments are usually welcomed during a lesson or practice, but not in a social situation. Sometimes a person may do something you do not expect, but this is your opportunity to accept the challenge of making this a new dance move.
Shower fellow dancers with compliments. Positive reinforcement has long been known to inspire people. When you see a couple dancing with grace and beauty, tell them how much you enjoyed watching. Likewise, do the same when you notice that someone has made improvements in their dancing technique, but don't tell them how much they have improved, because this can be understood as a criticism of the past. Lastly, always compliment the person with whom you have just completed a dance.
Dance at the other person's level. This is especially for you leaders. When you dance with someone for the first time, gently find the level at which the follower dances, and don't go beyond that unless asked to do so. Make it simple and enjoy the dance. Remember, some of the best dances are often those that embody the simplest of technique and where a close connection is shared.
Welcome dancers from other dance communities. Yes, do verbally welcome visitors, shake their hands and maybe even give them a hug when they walk in the door, but remember that each local dance community has probably developed a unique style. Don't expect guests to dance exactly the same as your local group. This is your opportunity to learn new techniques from each other. Take advantage of it, but do not say something like, "I think you are doing something wrong here." It would be better to say, "That was an interesting variation, could you help me learn it?"
Dance, Tango and Handwriting (This also applies to all dance.). We all know that each person has a very unique handwriting style, and so it is that each person has a unique dancing style. It would seem that there should be some universal form of tango, but what should that be? Each tango instructor teaches a different style, even though the moves are somewhat universal. Each tango community and each individual person dances differently. We all have partners with whom we prefer to dance because we are comfortable with that style. Tango scholars have long known that each neighborhood in Buenos Aires developed its own style, so why should each dance community around the world be expected to conform to some ideal that cannot be universally defined? After all, tango at its best, is highly improvisational. It is an art-form that will continue to evolve and grow, and we are all participants who can add new elements to this elegant dance.
Expect that each person dances uniquely and embrace the gifts they bring to you.
-Bill Stillway-